Where marriage is truly functional, the partners always attract each other. But one wonders at the rate the number of married men take off to pleasure-points to ease themselves every evening after "the days work" - If you know what I mean- Are they telling the world that their wives do not need the evening fun? This is not unusual among Nigerian men, especially those who have what it takes to afford the fun. May be wives will need to tell the world what they feel about such men.
Anyway, the other day, Richard was tempted to just try it as other men do with ease before he meets his beloved wife Funke later at home. He was married to beautiful Funke three weeks ago. His reason for opting for a social nite was because Funke had told him earlier in the day that she was going to the church for a special evening program that will last into the night. Not used to church things, Richard decided not to crown his day with church activities so he simply choose a social site at the out sketch of the town for the day's fun.
As he sat there watching the activities of the social palace, he soon went out of his emotional balance courtesy some paid girls who played the nude on a stage targeted at the customers' emotions. Richard could not hold on until he meets Funke later at home, he needed to do the real thing at least. Soon everything was arranged for him - the room, the girl, the comfort are ready and Richard moved up stairs for a taste. As he opened the door, guess what happened, the girl turned out to be his Funke who was supposed to be in the Church not in a hotel room. Or was she running errands for the pastor?
Richard would have thought that it was a plot to trap him except that she was naked on the bed. Shocked at the sight and as if in a dream, he asked, "what could you be doing here?" and as if she knew he would asked that question she replied him, "and you?" What happened there and then cannot be all explained now but who among these two people is the real cheat. Is it Funke whose church service was to serve men in a hotel room or Richard whose response to an emotional temptation was to allow another lady to serve him in a hotel room? Who among them is doing this for the first time? What if they had not crossed each others way this particular evening?
I know you will not want this to happen to you, especially now that faithfulness in marriage is less spoken of. If your relationship is on a wrong premise, then expect things like these, but it can be avoided. In order to avoid this kind of unfortunate experience that can put your marriage under stress and the threat for divorce, the following tips can help you out:
1. You must Establish your faith in God
One of the reasons for failure in marriage is the failure to establish a solid relationship with God. The attempt to live in spite of God was what led to the experience of Funke and Richard. God is able to reveal His will to you in marriage and He is willing to do so, but the deceit of religiosity without godly substance has often cloud the importance of God out of the lives of many intending spouses.
God is above mistakes, mistakes do not happen with God. Your marriage can only be secured when you include Him seriously in it. If Richard had been a true Christian, God would have reveal to him some things to avoid which ordinarily he could not have been able to know about Funke. The same applies to Funke if she were to be a true child of God.
2.Develop a good Foundation during Courtship
Courtship is a ship Court where the two intending partners take a journey of discovery. People have abused it because they do not understand its purpose. In courtship, people are supposed to discover themselves in everything except in sexual matters. It is in courtship you got to find out if what were revealed to you about the person you are in love with are true and it is here you got to understand him or her better.
The foundation for an enduring marriage is laid during courtship. It is through courtship you confirm the will of God for the marriage and plan on how to move on with your marriage plans. That does not mean that you must know everything about your partner during courtship since it is not possible, but at least the basic requirements for godly partnership are discovered here.
3. Build Everything on Sincerity
In today's world deceits take most part of life. People practically enjoy deceiving others. Marriage is not an exception when it comes to this. In fact, a lot of people married by deceits and this has put the marriage under the heat of pressure. Sincerity is one of the bedrocks of marriage. It helps you out of pretenses and makes you live your life in marriage without disappointing the expectations of your partner. If you want the best out of marriage build on sincerity.
The case between Richard and Funke is unfortunate. It can be avoided if only people will be ready to learn how to make God the central power behind their marriage. You cannot afford the embarrassment of a disappointing marriage, do the right thing now.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
HOW TO MEET THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE
Researches have shown that relationships are breaking off at the highest rate ever. Are you into any serious relationship? Or, are you about to begin any relationship? If you are into any of the above, then this article is designed to help you enter into or enjoy an existing relationship that will last. As you think about relationship, I want you to understand that meeting a mate or life partner that can stick to you for the rest of your life is not just an easy task. Because many people do not know how to meet the true love of their lives, they opt for a relationship that has ruined their emotions and some cases their lives. If you do not wish to be hurt for life, then you need to work at having a good relationship whether in courtship or marriage. Though having an authentic relationship is not an easy task,it is a possible task.
DEFINE YOUR PLATFORMS
The first thing to have at the back of your mind as you search for the love of your life is that he or she exists within the religious, social, economical, educational, occupational, residential, ethical and or tribal platforms where you belong. It means by implication that comparable relationship with a person should be judged from the standpoint of these platforms except in some few exceptional cases where a party crosses over these platforms in order to reach the love of his or her life and in such cases, the challenges and obstacles to cross can not be quantified.
It is most safer to begin the relationship search that should eventual lead to a marriage life by searching from the platforms where you belong. If you do not want to be hurt for life, you need to be humble enough to accept the fact that a relationship that will benefit both parties and will last is the relationship where at least three or four of these platforms play the game for you. The basic ones are:
1.RELIGIOUS PLATFORM
Beliefs are powerful binding forces in life. Every existing marriage or relationship is regulated by a belief system. religion is the mother of beliefs. Take note of this fact, every marriage relationship must begin and be sustained on the platform of religious beliefs. Does the person you say you love have the same religious convictions that you have? If so, that could be the true love of your life but religion is not enough.
2.SOCIAL PLATFORM
You can meet one with whom you want to spend the rest of your life with from your social circle. Since you are a social being it is no argument that you have a social lifestyle. Sometimes marriages built without social consideration ends in dilemmas. You find true love when the person in question does not contradict your social convictions. This also is not enough.
3.EDUCATIONAL PLATFORM
Do not joke about the educational status of anyone you are in love with or is about to fall in love with. It is true that people from the same educational backgrounds often fall in love and that is good but holistic education is what guarantees a good marriage relationship. You can find love in an educated person who does not know how to make love work.
4.ECONOMICAL PLATFORM
Marriage is like a business so it is partly sustained by the amount of money in circulation. It is in today's world that jobless people try to get into marriage. Listen well, you cannot find the love of your life in poverty, find it where you are sure you will not be staved. Unless a man or woman proves to be industrious, your love may not be there.This platform is not also enough in considering how to find the love of your life.
The same thing applies to the other platforms like occupational, ethical or tribal platforms not treated in details here. The truth is that you may be working on a wrong relationship if you ignore these platforms. Sometimes some of the people you meet outside of these platforms may only be using you to gratify their present lusts, at a later time they may disappoint you. It happens to both the male and females. Do not try to find love where it is not, find it in whom, what and where it could be found.
As you meet the love of your life, do not forget that the pressure that accompanies the choice of a love from outside the social, economical, religious, educational and other platforms where you belong will be intense. Do not also forget that the challenges you will face in marriage if you fall in love with someone that is not on the same platform with you today will be hard to believe.
It is deception that makes people believe that marriage will work in spite of the platforms that form the bedrock of the relationship. Such relationship can never end in marriage and if it does that marriage may be existing through pressure. Your ability to define your platform and that of the person who wants to claim your love for life is an asset, work with it.
The important task before you now is to check the situations of the person you are considering for a relationship before you give in all you've got. Your life is too precious to be toyed with, meet the love of your life after you have defined the platforms of that love and you will never regret it.
Thanks for reading this and be blessed.
DEFINE YOUR PLATFORMS
The first thing to have at the back of your mind as you search for the love of your life is that he or she exists within the religious, social, economical, educational, occupational, residential, ethical and or tribal platforms where you belong. It means by implication that comparable relationship with a person should be judged from the standpoint of these platforms except in some few exceptional cases where a party crosses over these platforms in order to reach the love of his or her life and in such cases, the challenges and obstacles to cross can not be quantified.
It is most safer to begin the relationship search that should eventual lead to a marriage life by searching from the platforms where you belong. If you do not want to be hurt for life, you need to be humble enough to accept the fact that a relationship that will benefit both parties and will last is the relationship where at least three or four of these platforms play the game for you. The basic ones are:
1.RELIGIOUS PLATFORM
Beliefs are powerful binding forces in life. Every existing marriage or relationship is regulated by a belief system. religion is the mother of beliefs. Take note of this fact, every marriage relationship must begin and be sustained on the platform of religious beliefs. Does the person you say you love have the same religious convictions that you have? If so, that could be the true love of your life but religion is not enough.
2.SOCIAL PLATFORM
You can meet one with whom you want to spend the rest of your life with from your social circle. Since you are a social being it is no argument that you have a social lifestyle. Sometimes marriages built without social consideration ends in dilemmas. You find true love when the person in question does not contradict your social convictions. This also is not enough.
3.EDUCATIONAL PLATFORM
Do not joke about the educational status of anyone you are in love with or is about to fall in love with. It is true that people from the same educational backgrounds often fall in love and that is good but holistic education is what guarantees a good marriage relationship. You can find love in an educated person who does not know how to make love work.
4.ECONOMICAL PLATFORM
Marriage is like a business so it is partly sustained by the amount of money in circulation. It is in today's world that jobless people try to get into marriage. Listen well, you cannot find the love of your life in poverty, find it where you are sure you will not be staved. Unless a man or woman proves to be industrious, your love may not be there.This platform is not also enough in considering how to find the love of your life.
The same thing applies to the other platforms like occupational, ethical or tribal platforms not treated in details here. The truth is that you may be working on a wrong relationship if you ignore these platforms. Sometimes some of the people you meet outside of these platforms may only be using you to gratify their present lusts, at a later time they may disappoint you. It happens to both the male and females. Do not try to find love where it is not, find it in whom, what and where it could be found.
As you meet the love of your life, do not forget that the pressure that accompanies the choice of a love from outside the social, economical, religious, educational and other platforms where you belong will be intense. Do not also forget that the challenges you will face in marriage if you fall in love with someone that is not on the same platform with you today will be hard to believe.
It is deception that makes people believe that marriage will work in spite of the platforms that form the bedrock of the relationship. Such relationship can never end in marriage and if it does that marriage may be existing through pressure. Your ability to define your platform and that of the person who wants to claim your love for life is an asset, work with it.
The important task before you now is to check the situations of the person you are considering for a relationship before you give in all you've got. Your life is too precious to be toyed with, meet the love of your life after you have defined the platforms of that love and you will never regret it.
Thanks for reading this and be blessed.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
101 MARRIAGE COUNSELS
Hello Beloved,
You click on this blog because of your desire to be informed on one of the crucial aspects of human life called marriage. Marriage is crucial because it involves searching, finding and living with the love of your life. It is divinely designed to bring fulfillment and joy into the lives of those who engage it properly, but the experiences of men and women who have tried it improperly have been otherwise.
The modern society of today does no longer consider marriage as sacred, lovely and permanent through patient commitment on the parts of the parties involved. The impressions of many single people about marriage today is that marriage can be entered casually and dissolved at will. The consequences of this attitude among other things is the rate at which singlehood increases daily.
Marriage has become a nightmare to many unmarried celebrities because of the way celebrities fall victims of failure in marriage. Some great men and women who made marks in different aspects of global life have made shipwreck in their marriage too. It leaves one wondering whether success in marriage is about luck or fate.
This blog is designed with lots of information on updates and challenges confronting marriages today and the best tips on how to overcome them. Specific issues are raised and addressed to give specific direction to those in search of answers.
To achieve maximum coverage, see my sidebar for more details.
You click on this blog because of your desire to be informed on one of the crucial aspects of human life called marriage. Marriage is crucial because it involves searching, finding and living with the love of your life. It is divinely designed to bring fulfillment and joy into the lives of those who engage it properly, but the experiences of men and women who have tried it improperly have been otherwise.
The modern society of today does no longer consider marriage as sacred, lovely and permanent through patient commitment on the parts of the parties involved. The impressions of many single people about marriage today is that marriage can be entered casually and dissolved at will. The consequences of this attitude among other things is the rate at which singlehood increases daily.
Marriage has become a nightmare to many unmarried celebrities because of the way celebrities fall victims of failure in marriage. Some great men and women who made marks in different aspects of global life have made shipwreck in their marriage too. It leaves one wondering whether success in marriage is about luck or fate.
This blog is designed with lots of information on updates and challenges confronting marriages today and the best tips on how to overcome them. Specific issues are raised and addressed to give specific direction to those in search of answers.
To achieve maximum coverage, see my sidebar for more details.
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